Nows and Forevers

Most Connecticut natives are conflicted. We live in between two oversized brands, New York and Boston. We’re a small state, incredibly rich in some areas, especially in the 25% or so that could be considered a New York suburb. Yet Connecticut also holds some of the poorest cities in the country. And there’s a lot in between.

To be from Connecticut is to feel those contradictions.

From the outside, Connecticut is often seen as a “drive through” state on your way to New York or Boston or Cape Cod. Or, as this article says, a place of prep schools and Yale. We often define ourselves in terms of either Boston or New York. I know I do.

I was born and raised a commuter train ride away from Grand Central Station. I saw Long Island from my school bus window every clear day, and watched New York TV, listened to New York radio, read New York City newspapers. Yet my grandparents both lived outside Boston, so we were there many weekends and every holiday. My grandmother ordained me a Red Sox fan, which I remain. But I’m closer to New York in thoughts and feelings than I am to Boston, not just growing up but also having worked in Manhattan and living in the Hudson Valley and in Queens for a significant portion of my life. Two of my children are New York natives, as was another loved one.

Connecticut is where I went to school, played baseball, went to church, had my first relationships, where I first learned to ply my trade of journalism. It’s where my eyes opened to disparities, racial and economic, thanks to my parents’ social conscience.

I have lived all across the United States and haven’t lived in Connecticut since 1996, though I’ve lived in Connecticut and New York well more than half my life. My father left the state several years ago. I no longer get to Connecticut regularly. Yet Connecticut never leaves me. Two places stir my heart when I’m there. One is in the Hudson Valley, which looms large in my lie and where part of me will always be. And the other is Connecticut, which birthed me and made me who I am, better and worse.

What’s Connecticut’s brand? For me, home.